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Tuff Questions is our series where we ask artists a selection of incredibly difficult questions.

 

Influential house and techno titan wAFF is branching out with his own new label, Nature. As well as donating a portion of profits to animal charities, the label will become a platform for music that in some ways heals us, just like nature itself.

He'll be kicking off the label with a 3-track EP of his own productions, entitled Colours, which will be dropping on 26th November, which you can preview and pre-order here.

wAFF is a storied DJ and producer with releases on Hot Creation, elrow and Solid Grooves, but would he rather all his burps smelt of eggs, or a green cloud appeared every time farts?

 

 

Describe your press shot in five words or less.

Crap.

 

House or Techno?

Hard one this..... gotta go with House.

 

If House is a spiritual thing, who is its prophet?

Paul Johnson.

 

What does your music smell like?

Sigourney Weavers BootStrap.

 

What was the first song/album you bought with your own money?

Will Smith - "Miami" or Celine Dion - "My Heart Will Go On" (fuck knows why I bought that when I was 10).

 

 

What was your first email address?

waffa_da_gaffa@hotmail.com

 

What would you say in your tinder bio?

Well, it DOES say - Hi I’m a fat twat.

 

Best way to cure a hangover?

There isn’t one, but probably to just get pissed again.

 

What song would be your wrestling entrance theme?

Scooter - "Logical Song".

 

 

Who’s the biggest party animal in dance music?

Ohh I know a few... but probably Richy Ahmed, actually not probably... definitely.

 

You can only ever DJ B2B with one other person for the rest of your life, who is it?

Jamie Jones.

 

You can only ever play one record again for the rest of your life - what is it?

Fucksake... making my head fart is this one! Octave One - "Black Water".

 

 

Who is your celebrity crush?

Jessica Alba

 

If you could live in any other place and time, when and where would you pick?

It would be the very far future (if we haven’t destroyed the planet) when we have mastered space travel, have free energy, living alongside people and different species from other planets. Most likely have some mad abilities by then as you’re a fully multi-dimensional being that can bend space and time.

Imagine the VR games and alien chicks you'd have then lol.

 

Is a hotdog a sandwich?

No... Who thinks that?

 

Teetotal or tearing it up?

Nowadays, Teetotal... but sometimes absolutely tearing it up ha!

 

Favourite production? (pick one) lazers, disco ball, strobe, Co2, LED screen, confetti, foam, nothing or other.

Lazers probably. Good ones though, there’s loads of shite ones.

 

You can only wear one colour for the rest of your life, black is not an option, what colour do you choose?

Ahhhh.... that’s well hard!! Might have to be white as that goes well with everything, if not white then bright pink...fuck it!

 

What’s the best moment you’ve had on a dancefloor?

There’s been many, many of these moments. Used to be every week on Amnesia terrace listening to Villalobos, Luciano, and Loco Dice when I did Ibiza seasons like 10 years ago. But definitely one of the best moments was when I heard Jamie Jones playing my track "Jo Johnson" for the very first time on DC10 terrace surrounded by literally all of my best friends, and I still had never been signed by anyone so this was the first-ever time hearing a DJ play my music out. That was a moment for sure.

 

 

What job would you do if you weren’t a musician?

Actor... and that’s still the plan

 

Would you rather all your burps smell of eggs, or have a green cloud appear when you fart?

Maybe green cloud, burps smelling of eggs isn’t that bad really is it... and if you had green clouds as farts you could proper confuse loads of people in a club and just keep farting around them as they would have no idea what was going on at all. I’d just keep doing it all night until they lost their head.

 

What’s your biggest non-musical interest?

Gaming & Movies

 

You’re forming a cheesy pop group in the vein of 5ive, Steps, Spice Girls etc. You must all sing and do choreographed dance routines. Which other 3 DJs do you want in your band?

Richy Ahmed, Eats Everything & Fisher... we would look like a right set of twats but it would be a proper laugh!

 

6 = 2(x+2) what is x?

Steven Seagal's bath salts?

 

What’s your secret weapon to rescue a dancefloor?

Ahh there’s so many that I turn to in these moments, all different styles too plus I can barely remember track names off the top of my head!! But if my style doesn’t seem to be going down well and I wanna make it a bit more funky, Demuir - "High. Alive & Dirty" always kicks up the mood.

 

Strangest / funniest thing you’ve seen in a club?

I’ve seen a guy completely off his tits in Space years ago in Ibiza gurning his face off with sweatbands all up his arms and around his head trying to swim stood up... just on a podium in front of everyone haha I’m laughing my head off right now typing this as it was proper stupid.

But there’s so many daft things I’ve seen just as stupid as that with people absolutely off it in the middle of the club, no idea what’s going on… just trying to swim for safety lol.

 

What single thing would make your life better?

No airports.

 

If you had your own nightclub, what would you call it, and what’s the dress code?

Zion and the dress code would be Sex / Kink - had the most fun at these styles of parties ha.

 

Why do lots of DJs wear masks? What’s the deal with that?

Fuck knows to be honest as I definitely could not be arsed to have a mask on in a club for hours sweating my dick off. But probably because there’s a few of them that dress like the same guy so they can rotate and also do a number of shows around the world in the same night as there’s more than 1 guy?? But I don't know.

 

Most regrettable track you’ve dropped in a set?

I don't have one, they’re all mint :)

 

What’s the most expensive thing you own?

My record label - cost me shit loads so far and I’ve not even launched it yet ha.

 

Where is the strangest place you’ve DJed?

Sankey's toilets in Ibiza was weird but was actually really good ha.

 

One piece of advice you would give your younger self?

To party less and to stay focused more.

 

Where’s the afters?

Hopefully nowhere as I can’t be arsed!

 

Follow wAFF:  SoundCloud | Facebook | Instagram  | Twitter

 

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About the author

Matthew Francey

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