Here's how to survive the loosest two weeks of your life


Freshers: welcome to what may be the most destructive three years of your life. Early nights will become a thing of the past, you’ll spend less and less time worrying about what your parents think of you and more and more time getting really into Storage Wars.

What is for sure is at some point in the next two weeks, you’re going to have to enter a nightclub with a group of people you’ve only just met. The music might be shit, the people you’re with might be boring and there’s a 90% chance you’re going to be wearing your little brother’s school uniform, but it’ll likely be the loosest two weeks of your life.


As an international clubbing institution, we’ve put together a helpful checklist of things you can do to at least try and enjoy yourself.


Skip The Drinking Games

Obviously you're going to need to pre-drink and games like Ring of Fire are a great way to bond with your new flatmates. But this is Freshers Week, drinks prices are so low you'll get a quadruple vodka Red Bull for less than a Tesco's meal deal. With that kind of heavy duty drinking on the cards, the last thing you need is a warm up of 23 fingers and a dirty pint. Take a bit longer than normal getting ready to avoid the games and stick to beers for the dutch courage and you'll be fine. Trust us, if you're the last man standing on your freshers night out, not only do you get mad respect, but you'll also amass an arsenal of embarrassing stories to dish out on every one of your new drinking buddies, should the need arise.


Show Solidarity

It’s a sad, but unmistakable fact, that not everyone likes dance music and at Fresher’s Week you’ll spot these people quickly: they’ll be the ones being bundled into taxis early into a night out, having tried to drink their way out of going clubbing. If you’ve ended up living with someone who hates the shuffle, don’t write them off as a lost cause. Make an effort to try something they’re into, be it death metal or live action role play, once you've found some common ground it'll be easier to convince them that Annie Mac is not the enemy.


Get The Rounds In

If you’re studying in a place that’s not London, congratulations! A round of drinks is going to be less than a tenner, meaning you can stretch to buying your new flatmates a shot at the bar. It’ll win you friends at best and take the edge off awkward situations at worst. You’ll also get a reputation as a #legend - something which, God-willing, will remain with you until graduation, or at least until you throw up in the communal sink.


Find Room Two

There is a safe space in your local nightclub. A place where you will find room to dance, a shorter bar queue and (possibly) a better DJ. It is known as room two, and you should find it, because main rooms during Fresher’s Week are full of people who’ve lost their mates or are looking for a fight. It’s also probably going to contain a DJ who isn’t really a DJ, just someone who hosts a radio show or has a well-followed Instagram account.


Choose Your Smoking Area 'Deep Chat' Wisely

Freshers Week is an emotional roller coaster: the constant drinking, the lack of sleep, the home sickness, the kebab-centric diet and the over-riding sense that 'people here just don't get you' will eventually overwhelm you're better judgement and you'll find yourself pouring your soul out to a legless Where's Wally in the smoking area. This is normal, par for the course of Freshers Week. But choose who you spill your guts to wisely. Flatmate? Iffy. Flatmate's weed shottin' high school boyfriend? definitely not. The hot girl/guy from upstairs? Not if you ever want to sleep with them. Your ex-girlfriend on FaceTime? ARE YOU MENTAL? A complete stranger? Probably not a great idea. That guy from two flats down who wears Korn t-shirts and you never plan on making eye contact with again. Bingo! Take a bow mate - you've just won Deep Chat roulette.


Transcend The ‘Fresher’s Week Package’

If fancy dress and alcopops are wearing you down by the end of week one, find some like-minded explorers and head to a venue not included in the 60 quid Fresher’s package you panic bought during your halls induction. Go and find the DJs who never played your provincial home town, because here you’ll find the people who’ve also boycotted the Smurf hats and body paint to look for a real party.


Be Open To New (Bad) Music

Student life is a time for total reinvention. With your school mates and family confined to one weekend visit per term, you can more or less become exactly the person you always wanted to be - without annoying things like 'the truth' getting in the way. That said, before you go off deciding you're above listening to anything that's ever appeared on a TV ad or official chart, just remember that Freshers Week is your big chance to make a good first impression. We know that "House Every Weekend" is cheesy and over played, but do you know what's worse than "House Every Weekend"? Some dick fresher standing on the dancefloor clutching a Smirnoff Ice for dear life and refusing to dance to 'commercial music' - that's what. Taste is for second year. This year, you're a fresher and if you want to make friends, you'd better be dancing to "House Every Weekend" like it's closing night at The Haçienda.


Just Be Yourself

LOL! Not really. You left that loser back in high school.


Written by: Tamara Roper & Matthew Francey