Pub Golf? Traffic Light? Toga? Foam? Cider-hands? Welcome to most difficult decision of your academic life
Freshers Week is full of difficult decision: what societies to join, which classes to skip, which flatmate to drunkenly get with then pretend it never happened for the rest of the year, etc. But without doubt THE most difficult - and most important - decision you'll make during Freshers Week is which gimmick party to attend. Gimmick parties have become part and parcel of the freshers' experience to the point where it's almost mandatory to attend one.
But - and this couldn't be more crucial - you can only attend one. The embarrassing photos that stem from these parties will stick with you for years to come and therefore you need to do damage control now. Think about it: when a future fiancee delves deep into your tagged photos (just to make sure they know what they're getting themselves into) - do you really think a sane human being can go through with a wedding to someone who squeezed a Traffic Light Party, Foam Party, Toga Party and a round of Pub Golf into one week? The answer, of course, is no.
So baring all of the above in mind, and knowing that won't get another gimmick party free pass until your first hen/stag do, take some time out, consider your options and try and choose the gimmick party that fits you best.
What You Think It Says About You: You're fully committed to your long distance relationship with your high school sweetheart and you want to go somewhere where you can loudly proclaim your unavailable-ness by wearing the official colour of love... and anger... and embarrassment.
What It Actually Says About You: Through the very act of agreeing to attend a traffic light party, you're already a yellow and you'll be greener than The Hulk come Christmas.
What You Think It Says About You: You're the definition of decadence. You party like it's the last days of Rome, every God. Damn. Day. You're always guest list, always VIP, always fab-U-lous.
What It Actually Says About You: You're content to hang around with a room full of people who thought it was OK to wear dirty bed linen as an outfit.
What You Think It Says About You: You're the life and soul of the party. You probably describe yourself as "a borderline alcoholic - lol!". You are 'messy' taken human form.
What It Actually Says About You: You regularly wake up face down in your own piss, having failed to make it past pre-drinks.
What You Think It Says About You: You're such a big party animal, regular dancefloors are just not crazy enough for you. You need a dancefloor full of FOAM, baby, yeah!
What It Actually Says About You: You have never been to a nightclub before.
What You Think It Says About You: You were the hottest girl / guy at school.
What It Actually Says About You: You're DTF.
What You Think It Says About You: You're athletic, you're sophisticated, you're slightly richer than your hall mates, you're a bantasaurus rex.
What It Actually Says About You: You're a wanker.