For once this isn't an article on the miserable outlook of nightlife in the UK.
You wait years for no good news, and just like buses, loads turns up at once. Well, maybe not 'loads' but enough to feel like a small oasis has been found in a desert of club closures, license changes and hiking door prices. The government has spoken, the trade unions have reached an agreement, and finally Boris Johnson has acknowledged that there's fuckery afoot in the capital.
Apparently, the night tube is actually happening. Like actually, starting at 6 in the morning and continuing until 6 the next morning; a non stop funnel of efficient transport that will mean never arguing with an Uber driver ever again. (Maybe).
August will see the Jubilee and Victoria lines open for 24 hours, meaning that now you’ll finally be able to submit to that urge of wandering around the Houses of Parliament at night. It also means you’ll be able to access some of London’s finest clubs (Ministry, Phonox, Fire) without worrying about a surge charge ruining your evening.
Bo-Jo’s Night Time Commission
Boris Johnson's done a decent and suggested a ‘Night Time Commission’: a six-month investigation into how to protect the capital’s late night-early morning trade. Accepting that “there is insufficient oversight for the way it [the night time economy] is managed”, the report will dig around the under looked reasons behind why our night time economy has taken such a beating recently.
Its findings will be explored in Autumn 2016, hopefully to coincide with the night tube.
Possible night czars
Sadiq Khan slipped the term ‘night czar’ in right at the end of his London Mayor manifesto, using the last few pages to discuss the capital’s steadily declining night time economy. He positions himself as someone who would back a Night Time Commission, and see through any changes that might arise from it. Alongside mentions of soundproofing costs on new developments, he gives us hope for an after hours’ hero whose job it would be to “champion London’s vibrant night-time economy”.
Lets hope that the gloriously titled ‘Night Czar’ will have an in depth knowledge of the best nights on per weekend, as well as JustEat discount codes on tap.
Nondescript Door Prices
Apparently we’re going out clubbing so much less now, that ticket prices are no longer being used to measure inflation. They’ve been struck off a list of ‘everyday items’ that get assessed by a fun sounding group of statisticians who assess rising costs. Does this mean door prices are un-policed territory, free from the eyes of scrutiny? As long as Twitter and a discerning public exist, probably not, but it's a sad testament to the fact that there’s not enough nightclubs left to justify the analysis.
More Expensive Soft Drinks
The newest addition to a potential overhaul in the way we club is directly affected by George Osborne’s brand new sugar tax. Sugary soft drinks (except for pure fruit juices and milk-based bevs) will face a new tax, a cost expected to raise £520 million that might go towards school sport. Does this mean that a vodka red bull is about to surge in price? Probably. Better start getting a taste about screwballs.