Do you know your Tech House Wannabe from your Deep House Bantersaurus?
Game Of Thrones is approaching quicker than a white walker in an avalanche, and we’re preparing to lose our shit
It’s the show that transforms even the most dedicated party person into a feral, bloodthirsty philistine, who would sooner sacrifice themselves to The Lord of Light than miss an episode.
Between the dark, grimy realness of the Night's Watch, the glitz and glamour of King’s Landing, and all of the iffy relationships, it provides enough drama and tension for even the most adventurous of wildlings.
Hmmm. Sound familiar yet?
Yes, Westeros is basically the DJ world. It’s filled with deceit, drama and beef. Just how different are the two worlds though? Here are the DJs and GoT characters that we think could life-swap for the day:
Disclosure – Jon Snow and Robb Stark
UK dance music's heroic brothers. Famed for their ability, skill and popularity. Let’s hope they don’t get killed off any time soon.
Heidi – Brienne of Tarth
Riton once described Heidi as “tougher and stronger than any man in the business”. If bass warrior Riton thinks that then the woman that withstood a 5-minute head nutting just before pushing The Hound off of a cliff seems a pretty apt match.
Arya Stark – The Black Madonna
The Black Madonna is an outspoken feminist badass, who fights for the rights of gender fluidity. She would fit right in with Arya, who once said, “girls don’t shave”, just before stabbing a bitch in the chest.
Ramsay Bolton – Deadmau5
Online, Deadmau5 has metaphorically castrated Bieber, Kanye and Avicii on more than one occasion. Twitter beef is his torture. Real castration is Ramsay’s torture.
DJ Sneak – Gregore Clegane AKA The Mountain
The Mountain is quick to anger and has no fear of showing it - he’s basically got beef with everyone. Although Sneak hasn’t gouged the eyes out of anyone (yet), he’s tucked away more spats than you can shake a stick at. Just some of his hit list on Twitter has included Jackmaster, Deadmau5, Martinez Brothers, Joris Voorn, Seth Troxler… you get the picture.
Tyrion Lannister – Seth Troxler
Seth Troxler’s the kind of person you want to spend all night drinking Bourbon and debating life with. You know he’d provide a stocked bar and an endless barbecue. Big man Tyrion is exactly the same, with his endless wisdom and lust for life. When asked how he wanted to die, Tyrion once replied, “In my own bed, at the age of 80, with a belly full of wine and a girl's mouth around my cock.” Say no more.
David Guetta – Jaime Lannister
Why face swap when they already look EXACTLY THE SAME.
Nicole Moudaber – Daenarys
Nicole Moudaber is heavily responsible for bringing dance music to Beirut. Her parties were the first to bring artists such as Paul Van Dyk to the Middle East. If that doesn’t scream Queen Of Dragons, we don’t know what does.
Tormund Giantsbane – Sven Vath
Papa Sven, we love you. But you are a wildling through and through.
Melisandre (The Red Woman) – Paris Hilton
This harlot just needs to be stopped. Make your own decision which one that is aimed at.
Think you can do better? Upload your face swaps on Twitter or Instagram using #MoSGoT