Scariest Halloween
Rave Trailers

We've ranked the best Halloween parties in America the only way we know how - by judging their event trailers.

American promoters put a lot of effort into their event trailers, but are these Halloween ones any good?

It's common knowledge that our American cousins just go 'cray' for Halloween. But you may have missed the memo that they also love EDM festival, and they also love making over the top trailers for those events. So just imagine how much they love trailers for Halloween EDM raves. We'll I don't mind telling you, they're bloody nuts about them, mate.

So I thought I'd have a look at five of the biggest events on offer this Hallow's Eve, watch their trailers and give them a rating out of a potential five skulls. Then that way we can determine who is the undisputed king of Halloween, because the only way of knowing if an event is any good, is if it has a glossy trailer... right? Right.

Freaky Deaky

Well that wasn't very good was it? I'm sorry but just because you've worked out how to do slow motion on your iphone and knocked up some WordArt graphics, doesn't mean you have any business making event trailers. I'm sure the organisers of Freaky Deaky would say something along the lines of 'we let the music, not the trailer do the talking' or some other bullshit. That might apply to the other 364 days, but this is Halloween, in America, and therefore quality has nothing to do with it. I want scary and/or sexy and this was neither. One skull.

Hall-o-meter: 💀


That was even worse! I guess it was marginally, marginally, sexier. And the music was a bit more intimidating and it seemed like they'd at least used some after effects. Also 'Freak Night' sounds a lot scarier than 'Freaky Deaky' - which sounds like a show you'd find on Challenge at 1AM. So I'm going to begrudgingly give it two skulls, though actually it's made me just want to give Freaky Deaky none and this one, but whatever I CBA changing it now. 

Hall-o-meter: 💀💀

Escape Psycho Circus

Oh... Kay... That was a bit too much, wasn't it? There are bits in there that I really, really did not need to see. That was kind of like a 2015 reimagining of Are You Afraid Of The Dark - but with zombie cleavage.

Hall-o-meter: 💀💀💀💀

Something Wicked

Wow. Watching some parts of that in a brightly lit office on a Friday afternoon was genuinely harrowing. They way those evil twins contorted as they came out of that.. um.. tube to hell(?) supremely grossed me out. Granted it got a bit Benny Hill in the middle when the fair girl was being chased through the forest, but all in all it was the scariest and sexiest of the lot. I'm not sure I'd watch that and immediately think I wanted to buy tickets for Something Wicked, but there you go. Five Skulls!

Hall-o-meter: 💀💀💀💀💀

Hard Day Of The Dead

Bit of a curve ball here from HARD. Neither truly scary or sexy - unless Skrillex in the bath is your thing - but a good effort none the less. A veritable carnival of cameos and a pretty funny premise. At 6:14 it felt a little too long, but on the plus side it actually put me in the mood for going out rather than the last two, which just made me want hide behind the sofa.

Hall-o-meter: 💀💀💀💀

And if you can't make it to America for these events, you could always come round our club for Halloween instead.

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Written by Matthew Francey

30 Oct 2015