So you think you’re a happy camper? You don’t need anything other than the place you rest your head to have a great festival?
Don’t feed us nonsense. The gospel of festival camping is fourfold, beginning with yourself and others. Who you surround yourself with is crucial, so for the gospel of 'People' we’ve found some apps that will make sure you’re making the most of your surroundings.
To stay in touch with your pals, you’re going to need battery life- an issue we’ve tackled in the imaginatively-titled section: ‘Battery Life’.
We’ve also created the gospel of 'Vanity'. Less about looking great, more about making the best of what you’ve got and we end with the inevitable gospel of 'Emergency'.
Fine, it’s focussing on a Dutch festival market, but if you’re heading to Dekmantel or Pitch, which you really should be, Glance might be just the hook up you’re looking for. A dating app that works just like Tinder, rest easy that at least you’ll have at least one DJ in common. Learn Dutch and download now.
We’re big fans of Periscope at Ministry of Sound. Do you follow us? You should, because we make FOMO look fabulous. Periscope is Twitter’s live streaming app, allowing all of your followers to watch and replay videos you’re recording - which means that every person complaining of Yeezy jealousy can now watch and hate in real time.
Kind of sort of mind blowing. Load the camping stove up with bits of your disused festival programme, and cook yourself dinner, no fuel required. Not only is it an environmentally on-point portable cooker, it can also provide electricity. A charged phone and a hot dinner, all at the same time.
EE’s nifty Osprey is perfect for those who still give a shit about the internet, but whose priorities aren’t hitting refresh every 5 minutes. Charge and browse, then let your phone glide slowly out of battery as your mind worries less and less about what time it is.
This will no doubt bring a VIP edge to economy camping. Watch your neighbours gawp in envy as you shower yourself with what looks like a basic black plastic bag, but is in fact a portable solar shower.
So you got lucky off that Glance app. What now? Bring your lucky lady/gent back to your piss covered tarpaulin shelter? Romance them on a deflated air mattress? I THINK NOT. These babies will ensure that your abode looks enticing and much more magical than it would do otherwise. Invest. Even if you don’t get lucky, they’ll certainly spruce the place up on Sunday morning roughly two hours after you were supposed to pass out.
Though you may be in no fit state to use it, the Red Cross App requires no internet to load, meaning that you can log on when you’re not sure if your mate is hyperventilating or just dehydrated.
This could be the app you remember you downloaded when you’re lying in your tent too scared to check when it’s going to stop raining. A non-essential festival friend that might just save your bacon when you need a reminder to pack wet wipes.
It's a festival all summer long on Ministry Radio, tune in 24/7 for the best dance music, interviews and more festival coverage.
By Tamara Roper and Jon Davidescu
23 Jun 2015