Festivals 2015

Difficult Glastonbury Lineup Choices

Our advice on the most difficult choices you're going to have to make at Glastonbury this year.

Our advice on the most difficult choices you're going to have to make at Glastonbury this year

The full Glastonbury 2015 lineup was finally released yesterday and with that, comes the inevitable planning, cross-referencing and timetabling conundrums. Now, one of the greatest pieces of advice we can give anyone attending a large scale festival like Glastonbury is: pick no more than three definite artists for each day and spend the rest of the time wandering from stage to stage discovering new music and hidden gems.

But we know that such a plan is easier said than done and that as most people go to these things in big groups, squabbles over who to see are inevitable. So we thought we'd take a good long look at the lineup, match up artists with times and stages and identify the biggest clashes that could cause friction in a dance music-focused crew (we were very scientific about it - we even made a spreadsheet!)

We've identified the three biggest clangers for each day Friday - Sunday (we're sure you can figure Thursday out for yourselves) and attempted to use our musical knowledge, festival experience and gut feelings to help you make an informed decision on who to see. Hopefully you can remember our reasoning at 4AM on Saturday as you crack into your 10th Strongbow of the day and use it to convince your mates that, actually, you do know best.


The Gaslamp Killer Experience [West Holts] Vs Damian Lazarus & The Ancient Moons [Sonic]

So we kick off with an accomplished DJ/producer's new psychedelic live show featuring various musicians, singers and shamanistic costumes versus an accomplished DJ/producer's new psychedelic live show featuring.... you get the idea. This is a really tough one and to be honest if this is your bag, you're going to have a blast at either. We're going to make an educated guess that Gaslamp will be more danceable, while Lazarus will be the trippiest. So this one really depends on what sort of a Friday evening you're planning on...

Winner: Follow your heart

Booka Shade [Arcadia] Vs Jamie xx [The Park] Vs Krankbrother [The Beat Hotel] Vs Skream [Arcadia] Vs Goldie [The Blues]

Booka Shade having a blast in our club back in March

Due to Glasto's massive size, you're realistically only going to see one of these dance titans, so it's probably best to pick a stage and stick with it between the hours 9 - 11 on Friday night. The prospect of Booka Shade followed by Skream on Arcadia really has us tempted and Goldie and Krankbrother rarely disappoint, but it's hard to find a UK artists as exciting as Jamie xx in 2015 and we don't want to miss a second of what will surely be one of the sets of the weekend.

Winner: Jamie xx

Erol Alkan [Genosys] Vs JESuS [Heaven]

Erol Alkan at his spiritual home of Bugged Out (Jake Lewis)

Nobody knows how to play until the sun comes up like Erol Alkan - one of the greatest sets we've ever experienced was Erol and Boys Noize soundtracking the sunrise at Melt! Festival back in the "Waves" days of 2008. But then there's JESuS - that's Jackmaster, Eats Everything, Skream and Seth Troxler for those who don't know. How can you say no to that? Not only are these guys some of the most exciting DJs around, they're also, to a man, four of the biggest party animals living today - there's no way this isn't going to be the most fun you can possibly have at 5AM in a field in Somerset.

Winner: JESuS


Awesome Tapes From Africa Vs Idris Elba Vs My Nu leng

On Saturday, you should be starting your day with the Hannah Wants boat party - that's a given. But once that wraps your hours of carefree non-decision making are at an end. Without even any time to breath your immediately confronted with this temping trio of tune-slingers. Awesome Tapes will be ultimate party time, while Leng will be bringing some much needed bass to your face, but can you really pass up the opportunity to see Stringer Bell drop his new Skepta remix? We can't.

Winner: Idris Elba

Todd Terje & The Olsens [West Holts] Vs The Bug Ft Manga & Miss Red [Arcadia]

Todd Terje (sans Olsens) when Rinse took over our club in February.

OK, so on the one hand you've got the man behind one of the happiest festival tracks ever made doing a full live setup. On the other you have the man behind some of the darkest music ever playing from a giant metal spider. So I guess this one really depends on your personal mood. Both will no doubt be spectacular in completely different ways. If I had to make a call we'd say go with Todd, if only because he's followed by the mighty Parliament Funkadelic. 

Winner: If your mood = 😇 go with Todd. If your mood = 👿 go with The Bug.

Eats Everything [NYC Downlow] Vs Kanye West [Pyramid] Vs Deadmau5 [Other Stage]

Not Deadmau5, but you get the idea... (Matthew Francey)

OK it's main event time. We've got East Everything representing UK, Jeezus for the US and Joel for Canada. This is tough and really we can't call it for you. Obviously if you spend every weekend in basement clubs listening to house until the sun comes up, you're going to want to see Eats. If you're a big room / EDM fan, Deadmau5 is a no-brainer. But if you can't decide, we're going to say take a chance on Kanye. Who knows what he'll end up doing / saying, who he'll have with him and what he'll be ranting about - he's worth it for the controversy alone.

Winner: Kanye West


The Chemical Brothers [Other Stage] Vs Midland [NYC Downlow] Vs George Fitzgerald [Wow!]

Trust us, the Chemical Brothers' live show is not to be missed (Jake Lewis)

Three absolute stonkers here. Each one is guaranteed to blow your socks off. Musically neither of the three can be faulted, but the Chemical's always put a lot of effort into their visuals, so for the best all round experience, we're going to Other Stage. You'll probably get treated to some new tracks from their upcoming album as well!

Winner: The Chemical Brothers

Groove Armada [LBHQ - Heavenly Kingdom] Vs Bicep [The Temple]

Groove Armada (Jake Lewis)

Finally an easy one - Groove are actually hidden away down the line up in the beat hotel from seven to eight-thirty. Check them out then (when they're more likely to play the hits) then go with the Bicep boys for the midnight set.

Winner: Bicep

Swamp 81 [Bez's Acid House] Vs Jackmaster B2B Joy Orbison [The Temple] Vs Eats Everything [LBHQ - Heavenly Kingdom]

Jackmaster going B2B with Artwork at an afterparty (Jake Lewis)

The bassy goodness of Swamp 81 Vs the groove of Eats Vs the madness of Jackmaster B2B Joy O. This will be the last official event you'll see of the festival and we'd have to go with Jackmaster B2B Joy O, if only because Jack's sure to announce where the afterparty's at.

Winner: Jackmaster B2B Joy Orbison and their inevitable afterparty

More Festivals:

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The Best Non-Croatian Eastern European Festivals

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Written by Matthew Francey

03 Jun 2015