Features

Dream DJ Brand Partnerships

Because what do Tiesto and Garrix have to do with 7UP anyway?
 

With 7UP announcing new Tiesto and Martin Garrix flavours, we run through some of the DJ brand partnerships we want to see



W&W – M&Ms


We can just see the TV spot now: Red and Yellow take a trip to Europe, where they bump into their wacky European stereotype opposite numbers. They like trance where the M&Ms like rock, they wear silly clothes, have funny accents and worst of all "they have their dang M's on upside down!"


Steve Aoki – Wet Wipes


While Steve could definitely get an endorsement gig with Betty Crocker. We think he'd be better suited as a new foil for Juan Sheet and his new range of wet wipes. Picture it, Steve jumps out of nowhere, smashes you in the face with a Victoria Sponge, legs it. Then Juan slides in and cleans you up good as new with just one swipe of a wet wipe - just in time for your big date!


Laidback Luke – La-Z-Boy


Who better to flog recliner than a guy so chill, his actual name is Laidback?!?!


Deadmau5 – Paranormal Activity Investigators


Due to his love of cats, Whiskas would be the obvious choice here, but we thought he could make a killing in the paranormal activity investigator business, due to his acute knowledge of "Ghosts N Stuff" Sorry Not Sorry.


Krewella – J Crew


Krewella present the J Krew Kollektion. Perfect for the rebellious teen phase of you upper middle class daughter. "Also great for Halloween!"


ATB – Lynx


Lynx's new ATB fragrance will help you get All The Bitches.


The Chainsmokers – Blu e-cigs


The Chainsmokers used to be twenty-a-day nicotine-fiends, coughing their way from stadium to stadium. Now they can run up the stairs to their private jet without so much as a splutter! All after switching to Blu E-Cigs.


Skream - Halls Throat Sweets


Sometimes Skream's voice can get a bit hoarse, you know from all the shoutouts and general 'aving it large. Thankfully he always has a packet of Halls on his rider, to keep his throat soothed. And his Skream serene.


Infected Mushroom - Fungal Cream


"Canesten: because an infected mushroom is no laughing matter."


DJ Snake - Braeburn Apples


TV Ad: Adam and Eve are wandering around the garden of Eden having a lovely time of it. Suddenly the bald head of DJ Snake pops out of the apple tree. Hanging their, upside down with his shades on, Snake nods his head at an apple, then at Eve. She looks at Snake. Then to the apple. Then back to Snake. A silent grin spreads across Snake's face as Eve reaches up and takes a bit out of the apple. Just as she does so, Snake flips out of the tree, lands behind some decks, drops some sick bass, there's strobes, dancing girls, Lil' Wayne, CO2 CANNONS. Belter. The Braeburn Apples logo flashes on screen with the slogan "Braeburn-T Down For What?".


David Guetta – Ray Bans


It's not just direct sunlight that Ray Ban can shield you from, they can also shield you from yourself...


More List-Based Lols:

Every Clubber You'll Meet In London

Lets Play The Ibiza Stereotype Game

How Mainstream Is Your Music Festival


Written by Matthew Francey

14 May 2015